SECRET HISTORY OF RIDING MILL HALLS
From the Secret Archives
The hall was built by the Roman soldiers as a place to relax when not Patrolling Hadrian’s wall.
They would hold competitions with the locals to see who could throw their sword the furthest, although this was stopped by the emperor due to the large number of fatalities sustained by the Roman soldiers.
The local teams blamed the cheap swords they were supplied with, but rumour has it that this was just a excuse and they were in fact aiming at the Roman teams best players to knock them out of the tournament.
This tournament was later changed to "hoying the welly" by the local sporty types and later adopted by the Geordies in Newcastle.
The hall was also used as a hospital during the siege of Riding Mill in AD 510 when Roman soldiers were surrounded by a large number of Scottish pilgrims who had managed to get through the wall disguised as locals from Prudhoe.
The Scots were demanding that the Roman soldiers leave Riding Mill village hall as this was the site of their ancient sacred worship ground.
Negotiations between the Romans and the Scots continued with no agreement over who could visit the holy site, This deadlock became known as REXIT and there has in fact never been an end to the discussions and these are still going on to this day as neither side could agree terms.
It is believed there are still Scots pilgrims who come south to visit the holy site but when the A68 was built many believe the signs to Riding Mill were deliberately pointed the wrong way towards Hexham so the Scottish pilgrims would get lost, and also as there is never any parking in Hexham they would just give up and go home.
The Millennium Hall
The Millennium hall was built on the place where the Roman Soldiers used to bathe in the hot springs that at one time used to come out of the ground there.
These were similar to the hot springs that as are still used by many in Bath.
In later years the springs were capped off by the parish council as people from Corbridge and Stocksfield were sneaking around at night and stealing the water, bottling it and selling it as Corbridge Spring Water to the tourists.
This would not have mattered but when some people from Stocksfield got wind of the huge profits they were making, they tried to do the same and decided to call their water Iron Brew and sell it to the many Scottish pilgrims that were coming down the A68 to visit the sacred shrine and as the locals did not want a repeat of the AD510 siege by the Scots it was decided to hide the source of the water by building the Millennium hall over the top of the spring.
The Millennium hall has a secret hatch in the floor where for a small fee you can still bathe in the healing spring waters.
Plans are in place to start bottling and selling the spring water again but this time to get around EU regulations it was decided we should come out of the EU and so a national referendum was suggested by the parish council (They have many contacts in parliament) and as soon as negotiations were completed we left the EU.
Unfortunately plans to resume the bottling and selling of "Riding Mill Spring Water" to the Scots had to be suspended again due to the outbreak of Covid 19 when it was discovered by historians that the water had special properties that can create the vaccine to fight Covid.
In the old days the Wi used to use the water to create vaccines to send to Africa to cure malaria and other diseases but after a disagreement with the big 3 pharmacy companies they decided to only send old clothes.
A new factory was built at teesside and the water is secretly added to the Covid 19 injections to provide the immunity.
Money from the sale of the water to the big pharmacy companies is being kept in a seperate account as there is now a dispute as to who own the water, Some historians say it should be shared among all Riding Mill residents with others saying it belongs to the Scots and when they have another referendum and get their independence Riding Mill will return to Scottish rule with the English border moved to Kiln Pit Hill.
(For a free sample of the water please use the Millennium hall kitchen cold tap)
Please do not make your own vaccines and inject the water directly as it needs to be diluted with water from Hexham and the exact recipe is only known by the Wi